Who doesn’t want their cake and to eat it, too? What the hell else do you do with cake?! I never understood why that is even a phrase.
When it comes to baseball, it makes just a tad bit more sense, especially a highly competitive franchise draft where some managers are sitting in front of a pile of chips with their dark sunglasses on, constantly pushing the chips to the pile, “All in… again.” And others are sneaking around the back of the room, picking pockets of dumb tourists just flown into town, saving their gains to sit at the table after the high rollers have called it a day.
So what was Tuscany doing all draft? We’re not sure we know, but it had something to do with having cake and eating the damn cake!
Within first few picks of the draft, we had our fake Ray Bans on, sitting at the end of the table, having pushed in on over-30 talents like Garrit Cole (hurt), Sandy Alcantara (TJ surgery), JD Martinez (Old), anchored by seemingly age-less Bryce Harper and Jose Altuve.
But the gig was soon up as we mumbled “too rich for my blood,” pulled our chips in, slid away from the table and started looking for pockets of our own to pick in the form of young talent that could still help this year, but oh boy, look a whole lot better next year. Pack your bags, you’re moving to Italia Alex Bohm and Zach Neto.
And so the draft went, with wild swings between now and soon… with an emphasis on soon. At some point we started to creep up the WAR rankings and visions of six playoff spots dancing our heads, we considered making a push. But one look at those high stakes tables scared us away and we settled in nicely to the National Conference.
Threading the Needle
Middle of the road is exactly where most teams don’t want to be: Just ask the Giants, Mets, and Cardinals how happy their fan bases are right now. Aiming for “sneaking into the playoffs” is a quick recipe for A) missing the playoffs, B) getting in the playoffs and getting your head on a spike, and/or C) not getting a decent draft spot to help you get out of the middle of the road before the next semi turns you into road tar.
The pick pockets faired nicely for the near future, grabbing elite minor leaguers and young talent with nothing but sun shiney upside. The sharks feasted on talent now to keep piling up those chips, getting stronger and stronger with a devil-may-care attitude of what the morning may bring next season. Banners fly forever, my friends!
.500 records don’t.
Even the great Warriors couldn’t pull off threading the needle, ditching its young talent for one more ride around the heavens with the immortal Curry.
Well, thread the needle we did. For better or worse. So, we enter the inaugural Champions League season firmly entrenched in the middle of the road, hopeful a so-so team that is built for a short series can make some Texas Ranger-like noise in the coming season, while casting an eye ahead to 2025 and beyond where higher stakes tables await (never mind the pitcher’s injury list, I mean, Hey! Cole is back! … and he gave up 4 bombs in one game. Sigh).
2024 Tuscany Vespas
With National League glory on our minds, we enter the season like this:
- LF: Grossman/Wade (slowest, high OBA leadoff men in history quite possibly).
- 2b: Batten/Altuve
- 1b: Harper
- DH: Martinez
- C: Fry/Jeffers
- RF: Springer/Noda/Walner
- 3b: Bohm
- SS: Farmer/Neto
- CF: Isbel/Young
Not bad. Can crowd the bases, especially in my singles-only park. Can’t really bang with the big boys, but can try to swirl around them in a on-base flurry, like midget-flies during a Cleveland playoff game.
The rotation looks pretty good for a short series in 2024 with Cole, Alcantara, Pivetta and Irvin, followed by a bunch of wait ‘till next year guys that will cost us some games over the season: Anderson, Junis, Barria.
The bullpen is the unsung hero of this club. I say this with great trepidation. I am the Dave Drombroski of bullpen management. Constantly spending, constantly hopeful and forever counting the championships a dumpster fire bullpen cost me. This could be one of those… 4 lefties, 4 righties, already have piled on almost 300 innings for 2025 and not to bad (famous last words) in 2024.
Closers: Adam and Alvarado
Set up: Robertson and Straham
Swing: Jimenez and Alexander
Mop up: Thompson and Taylor, Taylor, Taylor damnit Rogers.
With several weeks of hot stove still smoking, we may still make some moves to … accomplish what, exactly? Better this year? Better next? Thread more needles? Clutch our meager chips…? I don’t really know, but having a blast figuring it out.